


Lost and Found

by Kuiper7



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Non-Explicit Sex, Scars, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-15 00:07:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2208180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuiper7/pseuds/Kuiper7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not everything lost is gone forever but what you get back is much changed.  Liam Payne has been missing for six months and the boys of One Direction each suffered the loss in their own way – but will things be better when he returns?  Long held desires are unleashed and love revealed, if only they can all find their way back will things work out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this for my own distraction, and found it fun - even though there are some dark tones. Hope you enjoy and don't find the slow build too boring.

-Zayn-

Using his own key Zayn entered the apartment and prepared himself for unimaginable mess, week old smells and empty vodka bottles – he wasn’t sure to be disappointed or elated when he found none of these.

The lounge was immaculate, with even the cushions placed at even intervals along the couch and the two easy-chairs at forty-five degree angles to the couch. The coffee table held the appropriate amount of up-to-date magazines and a thick volume on modern art designs. The game controls were charging at their stations, blinking green in the low lighting and a movie case sat next to the player – Zayn didn’t need to look to know the title.

The kitchen at least held signs of recent activity – a teapot and cup draining on the sink and a hand-towel crumpled on the bench. The fridge held basics like milk, eggs and condiments but it had obviously been cleaned out of any spoiled foods. A bottle of red wine sat on the bench, unopened but with two glasses next to it. Zayn’s mouth twitched in sad amusement as he read the label – an Australian red, cabernet merlot.

“Lou!” he shouted, knowing the other boy must have heard him moving about but Zayn decided to play it safe – you never know what he might be up to.

“Bedroom,” came a muffled response.

Sure enough Louis was sitting on the bed, creating creases in the satin covers as he sorted through mail, mostly throwing unopened letters to the side but a small pile was kept by his left foot. Raising an eyebrow Zayn joined him and noted they were what looked like bills Louis was keeping.

“We have people for that you know.”

“Band related stuff yeah but Liam pays his personal stuff... personally,” Louis said, his voice not even catching on the name.

Zayn sighed but did not stop him – Louis had many and varied ways of coping and they all knew better than to directly interfere. “And this was more important than rehearsal?”

Louis looked up at that, his eyes confused, then he shrugged. “Sorry, must’ve forgot.”

“Happening a lot lately yeah?”

Another shrug was his answer and Louis studied a particularly thick looking package before tossing it aside.

“Louis... we need to-.” Louis’ sudden glare stopped him. “Fine,” Zayn tried in a softer voice. “But we can’t just...”

“Just what Zayn?” Louis asked, jumping up to pace the room, swinging his arms about. “This is still his room – this is still his place.” He stopped to place a hand on a silver watch sitting on the dresser. “Liam likes things a certain way and it’d be pretty shitty if we didn’t look after it until he gets back.”

Zayn swallowed the lump in his throat but spoke what he knew he shouldn’t. “We don’t know when that’ll be... if ever.”

“He’s coming home,” Louis whispered, keeping his back to Zayn. “I know he is.” He turned holding a hand to his heart. “I feel it in here.” His voice dropped and Zayn could see uncertainty enter Louis expression. “Shouldn’t I?”

Zayn didn’t see Louis move but next he knew he had an armful of the other boy as Louis snuggled into his chest. “Tell me its gonna be okay Zayn,” Louis voice said brokenly, he hardly ever cried but was obviously close.

He really wanted to say it and as Zayn stroked Louis’ hair he almost said it would – but the words wouldn’t come. “I hope so,” he tried instead. “I really do Lou.”

It took some time but Zayn finally felt Louis fall asleep and giving the older boy a few extra minutes he gently stripped him to boxers then pulled the sheets over him, kissing him lightly on the forehead. He’d join him later because Louis may sleep like the dead at first but if he woke alone he’d probably start texting all the boys for company.

He found the hidden ashtray on the small balcony and smiled to himself at the memory of Liam always throwing it in the bin in front of Zayn... but it was back in its spot next time Zayn would come around. Melancholy thoughts of Liam meant Zayn better enjoyed a smoke in the calm evening air. The city spread out before him, a million households creating a maelstrom of colours and a cacophony of sounds. So much had changed since they’d lost Liam – yet outside of their own little world nothing had changed.

[Flashback]

The Blackhawk lifted off, so much faster than you’d expect and even as he helped hold Louis back he saw through the window their friend already becoming a small figure lost in the chaos of dust and darkness. He too wanted to scream and cry out but feeling Louis shudder in his arms and Niall turn from the door, his face wet with tears but blank as he shut down – Zayn made himself breath and think. No panic, no fear – just think and be there for the boys; do what Liam would want him to do..

[End Flashback]

He made himself that promise as they flew to safety – at first telling himself it was just until Liam got rescued by the next evac crew... except that didn’t happen. One day of ‘being’ Liam turned into two, then a week. Harry had been found safe and One Direction was almost whole; but there was really no almost without Liam. So to prevent them all crumbling Zayn pushed his own pain deep down and did what he had to do to ensure the boys survived this nightmare.

They each needed care in their own way.

Harry blamed himself and needed constant reminding there was nothing he could have done. Liam would have stayed for any of them.

Niall required diversion and structure, lest that blank expression return because when it did Zayn got anxious whenever Niall was near any high open places or sharp objects.

Louis’ needs never remained the same. He felt guilt when he thought he was monopolising the loss but then he got angry when people wanted the memory of Liam shared. In his most quiet of moments Zayn blamed Liam for that – the git had said something to Louis moments before jumping off the helicopter; whatever it was had Louis acting like a jilted lover one minute and guilt ridden the next. Zayn had never asked the question because he assumed Louis would not tell but he hazarded a guess that in those last seconds Liam had confessed his love for Louis. Honestly Zayn wasn’t even sure if Louis returned those feelings or just acted like he might so not to hurt Liam’s memory.

Mostly Zayn repressed his own pain, not only about losing Liam but maybe not being that person Liam would admit his feelings for in the moment before he knew he might be gone forever. It was selfish and he knew he was being jealous about something that might not even exist but sometimes he wanted to shout at Louis to give it up and let Zayn grieve properly, instead of having to step up like tonight and every bloody other night.

Right now Zayn knew he’d stay over again, wake up when Louis did and make sure he came to breakfast with the other guys. He also had to find some way for Louis and Harry to start talking again – Louis was angry that Harry had thought Louis blamed him and his ignoring of Harry only made the poor fool think that Louis really did blame him.

It was a mess and as Zayn flicked the burning embers over the balcony he wondered how Liam had ever done this... how had he ever managed to be that guy that kept all these personalities from tearing each other apart? The strain of it had already cost Zayn a girlfriend – they’d got into a row one night and she’d guessed the truth, and his lack of talking had his family worried if their frequent calls were anything to go by. The band might have joked about Liam being ‘Daddy direction’ but Zayn was really starting to understand why every now and then Liam would break away and they’d know nothing of what he was up to for days at a time.

No-one told Zayn he had to do this. Louis had not told him to be here tonight but when he missed rehearsal Zayn just knew he’d be here at Liam’s. Where else? Zayn was here so often lately looking after Louis that he kept clothes, toiletries and other little things since his own place was virtually unlived in. The last week was the longest he’d not been here but at least Louis had started cleaning up after himself. The rehearsal was meant to be a way to start moving on but their hearts still weren’t in it and everyone just kept staring at the empty spot on the stage. Zayn had to consider that maybe they had to face the fact that some kind of ending had to be discussed, everyone else said they could continue without Liam, but it was just impossible to see how that was possible.

Lighting up another Zayn blew smoke at the clear night sky and watched a falling star, only just visible over the city lights.

“I need you back,” his voice croaked and he should feel stupid talking to nothing but air but he needed this – for the others he was being strong and dependable but he knew himself enough to realise he was starting to crack. “Damn you Liam Payne,” he said a little louder. “Please come back home.” 

Feeling moisture on his cheek Zayn wiped at it and stared incredulously at the drop. The sky was clear and he hadn’t cried since this all began, he knows he should have and it was half the reason his Mum worried so much, that lack of proper grief – but he knew once he broke there’d be no going back. “Probably bird piss,” he chuckled to himself and stubbed out the cigarette before returning inside. He removed his shirt and jeans before slipping in behind Louis, the other boy almost immediately snuggled back against him and Zayn sighed.

He really should miss his own bed more than he did.

1D1D1D1D1D

-Liam-

The storm seemed far off but the young man knew it would only take minutes for the wind and rain to arrive. Regardless he stood shirtless and wriggled his toes in the sand, luxuriating in the texture and cool touch of the tiny waves over his feet. He was not worried about getting chilled, not in this part of the world. He wore nothing more than a loosely tied sarong that could fall at any moment – not that such a thing mattered. The hut he now walked towards was the only structure for a hundred paces each way and other tenants valued their own privacy as much as they afforded it.

He felt small drops begin to fall on his back and glanced back towards the storm, it still looked far off but the rain was going to come first apparently. In the clear part of the sky he saw a falling star and almost made a wish, before realising he did not believe in fairy tales anymore.

He knew Zayn would have though – he acted all aloof and mysterious but had a soft spot for children’s stories and silly beliefs like wishing upon a falling star. Liam felt a pang in his chest as he imagined Zayn, half a world away and oblivious to where Liam was and what he was doing. How many times had he half dialled the number before pressing cancel – what could he say to him... to any of them?

“Hi, I’m alive but can’t come back yet – just too fucked up you see.”

No – not exactly a conversation he could do over the phone. As he reached the steps Liam felt a drop hit his cheek but unlike the others it felt warm, hot and he absently tasted it and almost found it strange that it was salty... almost found it strange but couldn’t really be surprised.

Andy was seated as Liam went to the small bar and grabbed the vodka bottle from the ice-bucket. With a glass each he joined Andy and sighed at the cool rush of the clear liquid down his throat. It used to be he’d barely put a six pack away without being off his face but now it took something stronger and in good quantities. His hip against Andy also calmed him and although he needed the other’s physical proximity they both knew it didn’t go past a certain point.

“I was listening to BBC radio earlier,” Andy spoke, jingling his glass for a refill.

“Mmm,” Liam poured them both a generous amount as more thunder rolled in – he loved getting drunk during these tropical storms; it was somehow freeing and came close to letting him forget his troubles.

“Yes I just think its delightful these old colonies play it out of habit,” Andy’s pretend posh accent went up several levels as he said this and Liam let it go – the guy never quite revealed if he did as a joke for himself or to have a go at Liam.

“So you were listening to the news?” Liam said before Andy went off track on a rant about Empire and colonial powers.

“Yes, the news... well I said BBC but I guess you know I wouldn’t exactly be playing it for the sad excuse for music they play these days,” he said with a grin nudging Liam’s shoulder.

Arse

“We’re the same age,” Liam said instead. “Can you stop talking like a nanna.”

“What’s a year here or there – and its quality not quantity.”

“Keep tellin’ y’self that,” Liam said, giggling at both the vodka hitting the mark and his increasingly filthy mind.

“Anyway,” Andy said so petulantly that Liam thought it could easily be Louis – and thankfully the vodka also dulled that pain. “They mentioned your band.”

Liam’s hand stilled in the act of pouring another vodka but he forced himself to move and shrug.

Andy may be unable to see him but felt the movement so he continued. “Said they were starting work on a new album – the announcer did mention that the lads still have no comment on their missing fifth member.” 

Ignoring the snickering Andy at his own dirty pun Liam threw back the drink and stood, crossing to the mirror that only barely gave him a reflection in the dim light. It only made sense that they’d have to start recording again – it was that or break up.

Staring at his stubbled jawline and red-lined eyes Liam wondered about the boy that had become part of One Direction through nothing more than luck and being in the right place at the right time. That innocent boy was pretty hard to find as his hand brushed across his head, the many ridges of scar tissue barely hidden by the closely cropped hair. His fingers lingered on the still ugly red scar that ran from above his hairline down across his temple and then angled down to his jawline. It was still the more tender of his injuries and the stitches had only come out a few days ago.

Other scars crossed his arms and chest, not enough to disfigure him but not exactly the skin of a pin-up boy for the tweeny crowds of the world. His muscle was more clearly defined and his biceps looked bigger than they had ever been – he would never be a heavy weight but had enough mass now to be more man than boy.

He caught Andy behind him and Liam turned and gave a sad smile to show he was okay, or as okay as he could be at the moment. Reaching out a hand tentatively Andy paused with a finger over the spider-webbed scar by Liam’s shoulder – he traced it slowly which brought goose-bumps out along Liam’s chest and arm.

“Still sensitive?” Andy asked softly and moved to other scars, knowing exactly where to find them – he should since he’d sat by Liam’s side at the hospital until Liam was well enough to leave. “They always will be you know,” he continued without waiting for an answer, not that Liam would interrupt him, scars were something Andy knew a little something about. “The good ones – all those nerve endings pressed together in tighter packs, the newer skin and just the fact that even though the physical pain has subsided,” his finger moved up and like a feather followed the scar on Liam’s face. “The body remembers.”

“Is there a lesson in that then?” Liam said, realising he was now the one sounding like a certain petulant band member.

The smile on Andy’s face spoke volumes, it held victory but so much sadness. “Pain fades, injuries get better and we must move on.” Andy stroked the back of Liam’s neck, knowing it calmed and relaxed him; it was probably the closest they came to actual sexual intimacy. “But we always feel things Liam – good and bad it makes little difference... as long as we have pain we know we’re alive and as for pleasure...” Andy kept his smile but Liam knew the man was thinking of his own injuries and how he had his own painful memories to deal with.

“I’m so sorry,” Liam spoke in a broken voice. “You know that right,” he pulled Andy in for a hug. “It should have been me.”

“Liam,” said Andy sternly and brought their foreheads together. “Never ever think it was your fault – you bloody saved me.”

“But I could have been quicker... if only I’d-,” Liam felt hot tears running down his face just as a loud crash echoed through the hut and the rain started pounding on the tin roof.

“If it wasn’t for you I’d be dead, or worse,” Andy spoke over the storm. “It was a stupid accident, I don’t bother second guessing things, waste of time and what’s the use. But you Liam, these weren’t accidental, and I’m trying but you need,” he paused as if it hurt to say it. “You need more than me, I’ll never doubt you’re my best mate, my brother. But you need to learn how to be you again, and I’m not enough.”

Liam breathed in the scent of the other man, so familiar and so comforting – he’d only felt something like that for four other boys and especially for one of them; he hadn’t seen him for so very long he sometimes wondered if he imagined what he had felt for him. “Fine,” he answered the question Andy had asked without actually saying the words. “Its time I went home.”

Andy’s victorious smile returned but behind it Liam saw a heart-wrenching sadness and that just wouldn’t do – Andy had given too much already.

“But,” Liam stipulated. “I can’t make any promises,” he sighed and went to get another drink. “The guy I was, that person… I’m not sure I want to be him again, even if it were possible.”

Andy accepted another drink but he probably wouldn’t drink it, he’d cut down since the accident. “And what about Zayn?”

Liam stayed silent for a long time before answering in barely a whisper, “I had to let him go, if he had any sense he did the same.”

1D1D1D1D1D1D

-Zayn-

The muted tones of a message alert woke Zayn and he stared blearily up at the ceiling, taking a moment to remember why he wasn’t seeing his own room. A warm weight across his chest shifted slightly and breath wafted against his ear. Louis was a cuddler even when asleep but that was something they’d all got used to quite some time ago.

Managing to not disturb the older boy Zayn checked the phone and saw it was from Niall – telling them to meet downstairs in twenty minutes. “How does he always know where we are,” muttered Zayn to himself. He often joked to the others that Niall was actually some Irish shaman masquerading as a boy band member – probably in plans to take over the world.

“Louis,” he nudged the human blanket covering half his body but was ignored. So he tried poking which did elicit a moan so he was getting somewhere. “We gotta go,” he rumbled, sharing Louis’ reluctance since Liam’s king-size bed was very comfortable and Louis was really quite warm compared to the no doubt chilled morning air. But then Niall would not be giving them orders unless it was important. “Come on princess,” he poked again, knowing Louis was awake. “You got ten minutes to make yourself pretty for the others.” He knew Louis would take at least fifteen which left him only five... Zayn guessed today his hair would be under a hat.

1D1D1D1D1D1D1D

-Niall-

“Stop shaking your head at me.”

“Then stop pouting like a five year old,” Niall responded as he looked back at Louis. It had taken him twenty-five minutes the bugger, on purpose no doubt and still he wore mismatched shoes, a horrid concoction of shirts with a vest that had definitely seen better days. His hair was immaculate though, long as it was it still stayed parted to the side like some 1950s movie star, something Louis had taken to doing soon after they got back – Niall figured it was Liam related but had not been able to fathom exactly how.

“What’s this about anyway? Am I in trouble for yesterday?”

Choosing not to respond to the second bit Niall shook his head. “Someone from the military got in touch with management – that’s why we’re here.”

Louis froze at the mention of the military. “Liam?” he whispered.

“Could be,” Niall said just as softly. “I texted Harry but he hasn’t responded.”

Zayn snorted from where he was leaning on the office wall. “Hazza turns up to rehearsals but that’s about it these days – you know that Niall.”

“Its my fault,” Louis muttered biting a nail. “He thinks I blame him.”

They couldn’t say anything to that – none of it was anyone’s fault but there was still guilt enough to go around.

The uncomfortable silence was broken by an officer entering the room, he wore the army colours and Niall recognised his rank as Colonel – so this must be somewhat important.

“I was told there were four,” the Colonel said as way of introduction.

“Um, yeah – Harry Stiles is away at the moment,” Zayn spoke up, covering for his band mate as he pushed himself forward. “So what’s this about – is it Liam?”

“Well yes,” the Colonel stated without preamble, Niall thanked the gods for military abruptness – some bureaucrat would still be introducing himself. “He’s alive,” he said, seeming to know that it was important to get that out before they assumed the worst. 

“And he’s okay?” Louis was the first to ask, breaking the collective silence of shock, his voice breaking slightly.

The Colonel looked carefully at Louis, seeming to decide several things in that one moment. “He’s been through it but no reported life-threatening injuries... we’re not assuming too much just the same.”

“What’s that mean?” Louis was practically bouncing on his feet, toying with his frayed vest and smoothing his shirt as if expected Liam to walk through the door this very second. Niall was just as excited but felt that he strangely had to let Louis have these moments.

“Our information is very limited,” explained the Colonel, gesturing for the boys to take seats as he rounded the desk and took his own. “At this stage all we’ve had is a phone call from one of our embassies requesting an emergency passport... since his name was on the watch list it came to my desk and before you ask I did speak with him and confirm his identity.”

“But he’s coming home,” Louis almost shouted, a grin now plastered across his face and tears in his eyes. “I can’t believe it,” he said. “He’s alive – but where’s he been and when is he-.”

The officer shook his head. “I’m afraid some of that’s classified and as a private citizen his travel plans are his own – once I verified he was alive and got his commitment to debrief when finally back in London,” he shrugged. “Its not as if I could order him to do anything else.”

Niall noticed the emphasis on ‘finally’ – something else was up but he left it alone for now.

“So you can tell us when this happened at least?” Zayn prodded.

“Three hours ago.”

“You work fast.”

The officer smiled and for the first time Niall suspected that he wore a military uniform but may just be working for another department – MI6 perhaps.

“I have already informed his family, as per his instructions and they asked me to speak with you boys.”

“Wait,” Niall asked. “He didn’t mention us?”

“Sorry but no.” The man tidied his files and stood. “You should know his family didn’t seem surprised, I suspect he’s been in contact with them previously and although I could probably prove it there’s no crime committed.” He gave them all a very hard stare, as if dropping the bombshell that Liam being alive and well was nothing to question further, nor the fact he may have been able to let them know before long before this day. “If there’s anything else I can tell you I’ll let you know.”

That signalled the end of the meeting and they were soon sitting out in the car, speech was kind of hard since they had waited for this news since the nightmare began, but now there seemed to be more questions than answers. Looking at the others Niall tried smiling, “So... lunch?”

1D1D1D1D1D1D

-Liam-

Explosions rocked the buildings to their left as the security detail ushered them to the waiting Blackhawk helicopter. Zayn and Louis were already on board but Liam refused to join them until Niall got up first – as the Irish lad buckled in Liam turned to the soldier next to him. “Has Harry been found yet!” he yelled over the sound of the engine spinning up. Speaking into his mic the soldier waited a few seconds before shaking his head.

“We’ll find him,” the other soldier, introduced earlier to Liam as Hayden spoke up. “But you need to get out of here now.”

Liam looked up at the other boys, they could not hear the conversation but he could see that Zayn guessed the content as his eyes watered and he quickly looked away. Louis was helping Niall so had not seen Liam’s grim expression.

It had been an unannounced visit to a children’s ward full of war victims – no-one was meant to know they were here. They’d walked the rooms, speaking with the kids, giving out gifts and just trying to add some joy to the grim surroundings. Then all hell had broken loose on their trip back to the base – an ambush had separated the vehicles, Harry and Paul, with some media had not been seen since.

This trip was Liam’s idea and he could not go if Harry was still out there.

He could tell by the pilots frantic hand movements that the helicopter was taking off in moments and the soldiers were trying to push him up on board – he had seconds to make a decision but in reality it had been made the instant they said Harry was still missing. Hooking his arm on the door handle he leaned up and grabbed Louis’ collar with the other, bringing the other boy closer he stared into Louis’ surprised eyes. There was little time for a lot of words so Liam just tried to convey everything with a nod of his head and a small smile – then he leaned in to speak directly in his ear, “Harry’s missing, I’m staying until he’s found,” kissing Louis briefly on the top of his head Liam tried to look confident. “Look after the boys and I promise you Lou, I’ll make sure we’re all back together in no time”; Louis had no chance to respond as Liam leapt back, slamming the door closed and banging the panel.

The pilot looked at him through the side window and obviously swore loudly; he nodded his head though at Liam and gave him a swift salute before pulling back on the stick, the engine revved and the craft started to rise. Through the closed door Liam could see Louis’ face, shouting ineffectively as Niall pulled him back. Zayn had his hand on the window, splayed out as he mouthed words at Liam and with unshed tears brimming in his eyes.

Liam fell back as the downwash pushed at him and he had to shield his face – a hand steadied him and he found Hayden shaking his head at him with a grim smirk across his face. “That was pretty fuckin’ stupid.”

Liam gave his famous shrug.

Looking at his team Hayden seemed to communicate to them without speech and they all nodded. Opening a flap Hayden pulled out a handgun and offered it handle first to Liam. “I assume you can use this?”

“Li – wake up.”

Consciousness returned with a vengeance and Liam immediately checked his surroundings, looking for a threat but finding none in the confines of the first class cabin – just other flyers sleeping or typing away on tablets.

“Ssshhh,” Andy soothed him in the same gentle voice, he would be used to this by now. “You’re okay.”

Liam tried to get his breathing under control and unclenched his fists from the arm rests. “I’m fine,” he croaked, keeping his voice low. “Just a dream.”

“Sir?” the flight attendant appeared out of nowhere. “Can I get you anything?”

Andy shook his head so Liam gruffly answered for them. “No we’re fine.”

The attendant raised an eyebrow but gave a tight smile and went to turn away.

“One thing,” Liam tried a smile to off-set his earlier grumpiness. “I don’t mean to be presumptuous but do you happen to recognise me?”

The flight attendant returned the smile, more genuine this time, but it was twinged with a bit of cheek. “Try that one a lot do you?”

“What? Oh no, its just-.”

“Its okay,” the attendant gave a soft laugh. “Sorry to break the stereotype but I prefer the ladies – but if I was so inclined,” the attendant leaned in and patted Liam’s shoulder. “That pretty face is not one I’d soon forget.”

“Oh shut up,” Liam snarked at Andy as the attendant moved on.

“I didn’t say anything.”

Huffing a laugh Liam absently rubbed his shaved hair, coming through enough now to be a whisper light fuzz. One person not knowing him was not really an indicator but if he made it through the normal clutch of paparazzi permanently camped at Heathrow without being recognised then maybe his new appearance could have its advantages.  
   
Tbc..


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam quickly sees the fractures that have happened in his absence while Harry begins to understand the horrors Liam has suffered.

-Harry-

Knowing when you were alone had become second nature when your every public and even some of your private moments were being watched and that was no different as Harry arrived at his apartment.

He just knew there was someone inside.

It could have been any of the boys but they had stopped coming around unannounced since he’d threatened to change the locks unless they asked first. He flipped the hallway light on and instead of moving into the kitchen like he’d normally do, he slipped through the spare bedroom so he could grab his cricket bat and enter the lounge from the other side.

He waved the bat at the dark figure seated in the armchair, the light from the hallway showed a profile but apart from being about Harry’s size he could tell little else – except the fact the figure seemed unmoved by Harry’s threatening pose.

“Hello Harry.”

The bat dropped from his fingers and Harry’s jaw wanted to hit the floor as well. “Liam?”

“I’m sorry,” Liam spoke from the shadows, his voice somewhat hollow. “But I needed to see you for myself – had to know for sure that you were okay.”

“Of course I’m bloody well okay,” Harry said, his hands up to his face as he felt a grin break across it – the first since Liam had gone missing. “Its you everyone thought was – wait, does anyone else know?”

“I really don’t know,” Liam said, in a tone strangely ambivalent since they were discussing his best mates. “No leave it please,” he said suddenly as Harry moved to turn on a lamp. “I prefer it dark – just for now.”

Wanting to move over and hug him to death Harry held himself back, something telling him that Liam would let him know when that too was okay – he knew without a doubt that it was Liam but it was not the same boy he’d known.

“You got out then – you and the crew?” Liam asked, leaning forward and Harry could see his head was shaved, shorter than he had ever done it before and he seemed to be wearing just an ordinary dark jacket. His face was still in shadow but the lines of his jaw were defined with a barest glint of stubble.

“Yeah... yes – I mean we took a longer route to avoid a secondary ambush but we all got out.”

“Good, that’s good,” Liam’s eyes stared at him in the half-light, their intensity the same they had always been when he was focused on a subject. “I mean I’d read that but you never know when the media is helping to cover something up you know.”

“Um, I guess.” Harry felt stupid standing so took a seat on the very edge of the couch, his hands under him because they were shaking from the excitement of seeing his friend alive and apparently in one piece. “But you Liam – we thought you’d... well you just disappeared.”

“Not by choice I assure you,” Liam said darkly then sighed and gave a little laugh as he looked to the side. “Okay, but not at first.” He stood slowly and Harry could see a smile forming. “Come on then Harry – too long without a hug from you leaves a guy cold yeah.”

Harry sobbed a laugh and leapt forward, immediately engulfing Liam who returned the embrace after a little hesitation. He would never usually admit it but Harry loved Liam’s hugs the most – he just had that way of holding you like everything bad in the world could fall away in that very moment and there was just the two of them. Liam was smaller than before – well that wasn’t right, he was harder. Harry easily felt the lean muscle, not there last time, around Liam’s shoulders and torso. Liam had always been able to bulk up but the sleek muscle with almost zero body-fat made him seem whittled down yet more powerful... if somehow dangerous like a coiled spring.

His hug was the same though as Harry’s worries slowly slipped away until there was only the room and the two of them. The tears were falling before he realised and then he was clutching at Liam and bawling like a child, happy tears laced with sad ones at whatever Liam had been through. Liam patted his curls as he always had and drew his head into the curve of his neck. Although taller Harry always felt smaller in Liam’s arms – he luxuriated in the smell, so familiar and something of Liam he had not known he’d missed until now.

He was sobbing a mixture of words, some maybe Liam understood as he mumbled about thinking Liam was dead, that he imagined him sick and injured in some hellhole and his biggest fear that Liam was a prisoner and being tortured.

“Its all okay,” Liam whispered in his ear. “All over now – we don’t need to think about those things.”

Warm as he was in the embrace Harry felt chills up his spine at the fact Liam didn’t say those things hadn’t happened, just that it was all okay now. They stayed together for what seemed hours but was more likely just a few minutes before Liam eased Harry back and moved to turn on the lamp. His back was to him but as Harry had guessed Liam was leaner and wearing a dull green jacket and dark pants – it should have made him seem normal but instead Harry felt that same inkling of otherness from the other boy.

No, Harry knew without seeing more that he could not think of Liam as a boy anymore – he was a man now and no matter if Harry was taller and had more bulk Liam had that ‘something’ about him that spoke of manhood. Given the situation Harry shouldn’t have felt a thrill of desire but there it was, no matter that he tried to stamp it down as quickly as possible.

“Liam,” he said softly, knowing there was something more. “Look at me please.”

Liam’s shoulders hunched and he sighed loudly. “First I need you to know I don’t blame you for anything Hazza – none of this is your fault.”

There it was, Liam knew them all so well and of course he’d know Harry felt responsible for him going missing – Liam had stayed to find Harry after all.

“That’s what everyone tells me,” Harry mumbled.

“But do you believe it?”

“No.”

“Well you need to start,” Liam said with a hard edge and turned around slowly. The soft light fell across his features, shadows highlighting Liam’s lean features and obvious weariness but most of all Harry bit his lip as a large angry scar become visible. “You need to know that you didn’t do this,” Liam stepped up and put Harry’s fingers to the wound. “Bad men did this.” For the first time Harry heard sadness in Liam’s voice and his eyes held unshed tears. “They did it not because of Harry Styles and not because I was looking for you – do you understand?”

He nodded but could not speak, he would break all over if he did; instead he continued to trace that scar and the ones through his very short hair. The ridges were hardened yet smooth, bumps and grooves that Harry strangely felt he could touch for hours.

“Good,” Liam smiled sadly but there was darkness now in his eyes. “Sometimes making the choice to survive means letting go, so I meant what I said – its over.”

Not wanting to ask what Liam had to let go of because his darkened eyes said it all Harry instead gulped back his tears and asked an easier question. “Does it hurt?”

“Yes,” said Liam, whipping up his hand to hold Harry’s in place. “But not right now – right now can we just ‘be’ and deal with everything else later.”

“Anything you want,” Harry smiled.

“Well first,” Liam shrugged like he always had, like he was that innocent boy from years ago. “Could I maybe stay here a while?”

“Of course,” Harry felt it strange that Liam would ask, he never would have in the past. “But your place is still there – the boys have been looking after it.”

Liam’s eye twitched. “Exactly.”

1D1D1D1D1D

-Liam-

It was almost three in the morning before a small noise made Liam smirk, before he felt the bed dip down as he was joined by another body.

“Sorry,” whispered Harry. “I know you said you’d sleep alone but, well I kind of needed to know you were-.”

“Shut it and get comfortable,” grumbled Liam, edging to the side more so Harry had room. The younger boy was a bit bigger than Liam, not that it mattered since Liam knew he’d have Harry draped across him before sunrise. Harry had always liked a good spoon but was quite selective, never crossing the line and usually avoiding any of the boys while in a relationship – not because he’d ever make a move but more for his strange sense of propriety.

He’d not warned Harry to stay away since he was confident of awaking at the slightest noise – if he’d been truly exhausted and thought Harry might surprise him it’d be a different story. The last thing Harry needed was a disorientated Liam holding a knife to his throat because he was acting on months of hyper-aware instinct, and yes he had a knife carefully stored on his side of the mattress. No, his reason for taking the spare bed was to not tempt himself – the fact is Harry was practically sex on legs, not something Liam had ever denied, just something he’d always been able to resist. 

It was a warm night and Liam suspected Harry had the heat on anyway, like he normally did since lack of clothing in Harry’s place was kind of expected. So the sheet that covered Liam did slip as he moved and in the soft light from the window Harry must have seen his bare back, hissing a breath and gulping back a whimper.

“Li,” he whispered and then a featherlike touch of his finger followed the band of scars across Liam’s shoulder blade. “Why did you have to stay back, why didn’t you just leave with the others?”

Rolling smoothly Liam caught Harry’s hand and kissed it gently, pulling it to his chest. “Because you weren’t there.”

Harry shook his head, his hair now quite long waving about and almost but not quite covering his tear filled eyes. “I was okay, you shouldn’t have-.”

“Yes I should’ve, end of discussion,” Liam spoke gently, trying with his tone to once again show he wasn’t blaming Harry for what happened. “Besides, you would’ve done the same.”

“I...” Harry bit his lip and eased his hand out from Liam, clasping it instead to the back of Liam’s neck. It was a show of trust that Liam only tensed a little at how vulnerable that made him, relaxing as he stared into Harry’s eyes. “They didn’t tell me until we’d reached the airbase, I may have been a little rude to a general... I think he wanted to lock me in the brig.”

That made Liam laugh, something he’d not done properly in a while and it felt good. Maybe Andy was right, it had been time for him to return.

“What did they tell you?” Liam asked when he stopped laughing.

Harry’s eyes dropped in memory. “That you’d stayed at the pick-up point… that the unit you were with had come under fire soon after,” he lazily stroked circles on Liam’s chest and his voice broke slightly when he continued. “That the insurgents were in danger of breaking through so they’d ordered an airstrike.”

Nodding absently Liam muttered, “Probably the right thing, ‘m sure its something a lot of people wanted to do to me at times.”

“The right thing to do!” Harry growled and then laughed. “Some things haven’t changed then, like your sick sense of humour.”

“Maybe I just missed your laugh,” Liam smiled and ruffled his hair, making Harry squawk indignantly and slap the hand away. “And missed making you squirm,” Liam continued, going on to tickle Harry’s sides before flipping him around so he was straddling Harry’s legs. “Really missed just seeing this smile,” he said more softly and traced Harry’s lips.

Harry gave a thoughtful look down at where Liam was sitting across him, then grabbed Liam’s hips to bring them into proper contact and then brought their faces close so he could stare deep into Liam’s now very dark and lust-filled eyes. “This,” he said, barely able to speak coherently. “This is a little bit different.”

“Well,” Liam murmured. “Some things do change,” then closing the distance he kissed him, taking it slow as if this was something they’d done a thousand times before, which Harry would’ve known as well as Liam did that they surely had not.

Harry was at first frozen but quickly got with the program, kissing back enthusiastically and wriggling about to get the full body contact just right. This was something Liam had admittedly imagined but never actually considered possible, not because Liam was straight or anything, but because for all the time he’d been in the band he had been hung up on only one person, and that wasn’t Harry.

But Zayn seemed like such a long time ago.

Even though he should be thinking of him right now, should be considering that this will only make things worse than they already were… he was only human and Liam was the one making this happen, maybe he needed it more than Harry.

Liam stopped for a moment and lifted himself up, giving Harry a side-ways curious expression, did he really want this or was he just doing what Harry always did, and trying to make everyone around him happy. The fully blown hunger on Harry’s face though told Liam all he needed to know, so he grinned and hooked a thumb under Harry’s waistband, the thin black briefs coming off with nothing more than a slide of his hand.

This time Liam knew that he wouldn’t just wake up with Harry draped across him, he would go to sleep with Harry draped across him, after a very long, very messy and a totally very overdue good fuck. The moan beneath him told Liam that he was not the only one with such a plan. 

Andy had been so right, he’d stayed away far too long. 

1D1D1D1D1D

-Harry-

Harry did not get up until mid-morning, he’d woken briefly when Liam eased out from under him just after sunrise but had quickly fallen back asleep after a kiss to his forehead and a whispered ‘stay’ from Liam.

In the kitchen was waiting a fresh pot of tea, some croissants and muffins from the bakery on the corner and several newspapers with Liam currently flicking through one with some serious intent.

“Good morning?” Harry tried, gaining only a flicker of a look from Liam and a hand waving at the food. “Thanks,” Harry scoffed down a croissant and started on a second before pouring a cup of tea and easing back in the chair, feeling somehow like a guest in his own house. “So any trouble at the bakery, I mean they’re used to me and usually let me in the back to avoid any ruckus but Liam bloody Payne, back from the dead?”

That made Liam look at him properly, a hard to read expression that seemed to be part confused and a little bit amused. “I’ve learnt how to go unnoticed,” Liam said flatly, and it sounded wrong, as if it were more a statement of fact than a joke at the fact that of all of them Liam had been least able to keep it low key. “And always pay with cash.” 

He went back to scanning the papers while Harry ate some more and openly studied Liam in the morning light. He looked a lot more refreshed than last night and the scars seemed less shocking and becoming more just a part of him. The shaved head was a bit fierce and with his reduced body weight Liam’s face was more sharp features than the soft ones Harry had always loved most. It was likely Liam could have walked in to that bakery wearing a 1D t-shirt and not have been recognised.

“I’ve gotta ask,” Harry finally said. “What’s with the papers? We have these great things called tablets and smart phones… and you know, google alert.”

“Don’t have a phone anymore,” Liam muttered, using a finger to go through some article in what seemed to be the international section. “And you’d be amazed how quickly you learn words and phrases by trying to read non-English newspapers… French is still used a lot where I was, so that was helpful.”

“You don’t speak French Liam.”

“Je fais maintenant.”

Shaking his head Harry let himself laugh and relax a bit more, it was still a bit surreal having Liam here in his kitchen after all this time but right now, with Liam reading the paper after getting Harry breakfast and the admittedly great sex earlier… it was really very domestic.

He also knew as lovely as it seemed it was an illusion. Liam had been gone for a long time and yes, it would be a miracle if he wasn’t changed by all that had happened to him, but from the very beginning it had always been someone else who demanded Liam’s attention and usually without even trying. Maybe some guilt should settle because Harry had gone along with what happened last night, then again they were all adults and as far as he was concerned he and Liam had really needed it.

“You’ve got that thinking face on Styles, should I be concerned or maybe,” Liam managed a wicked smile, something that would never have fit on the old Liam, but this one wore it well. “Should I get undressed again?”

“You’re barely dressed now,” Harry answered, eyeing off Liam who was obviously fresh from a shower in only a towel. It was still best to side-step the offer which he figured was very much genuine. “But no, maybe we should try talking this time.”

“Overrated,” Liam dismissed the suggestion with a wave of his hand. “But if sex really is off the table, then I suppose we’ll have to do something you find equally satisfying.”

Harry grinned and rubbed his hands together. “That can only mean one thing.”

“Yes,” Liam drew out the word like a moan. “Shopping.”

1D1D1D1D1D

They made a day of it, Harry had convinced Liam to go south to Brighton, a little over an hour the way Harry drove and he knew plenty of little shops where they were unlikely to be bothered too much.

“So clothes, mostly you said?” Harry asked as they found a park only a few streets back from the main road and conveniently near a pub, marking it for later Harry got out and looked at Liam for an answer.

The man himself was already standing wearing his military green jacket, dark hood pulled over his head and a non-descript shirt on underneath. With the sunglasses, shapeless jeans and hiking boots Harry would have had a hard time seeing him as Liam if he didn’t already know.

“All I’ve got is what I’m wearing basically.”

“You have a whole wardrobe at your place,” Harry reminded him. “Several in fact, fashionista that you are.”

“Were,” Liam spoke flatly and made a show of adjusting his jacket. “Besides, I’ve had an image change… and may have gone down a size.”

“Or two,” Harry tried to joke but Liam’s expression just remained that stone face that he’d noticed a few times on the drive here. Also, standing there he noticed that unlike the Liam he remembered this one stood very still, but with a wariness as if ready to disappear at any moment. Liam must have been serious about learning how to blend in, Harry worried that if he took his eyes off him Liam might just vanish into a group of passing tourists and he’d be gone all over again. Which made him realise something. “Um Li, I know you said you don’t know but seriously, does anyone know you’re back, I mean you said your family knows but what about the boys, the team… anyone on the band?”

“Haven’t spoken to anyone.” He said it without a hint of emotion, as if letting people who know and loved him know he was alive really wasn’t an important thing.

“And if you’re recognised today? Don’t you think they might appreciate a heads up?”

Liam tilted his head and studied Harry for a good ten seconds then shrugged. “Told you, don’t have a phone.”

“Then bloody use mine,” Harry said exasperated and held it out. Liam just kept his own hands still and instead kind of half-smiled at Harry. “What?” Harry finally asked when Liam continued to do nothing.

“You’ve known I’m alive for over twelve hours, I suspect the boys have known longer than that.”

Pocketing the phone Harry shook his head as Liam turned and started walking towards the shops. “Li! Wait,” he jogged after him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Liam stopped suddenly and looked at Harry over his sunglasses, his eyes holding a sudden sadness to them. “You all know I’m alive, but none of you have managed to tell each other that – I don’t think its me you should be worrying about.”

Tbc…


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you, slow build and slow burn - but don't worry, I will do my best to Ziam the end game... unless the muse speaks otherwise. No seriously, Ziam all the way, even if I am loving the Lirry right now.

-Liam-

Harry may have thought Liam had been joking about the cash comment earlier but his eyes bulged the third time Liam handed over notes instead of a card. “Seriously,” he whispered. “How much you carrying Payno? Bet you got a money roll like some gangsta.”

“Not that much actually,” Liam finally answered after the shop assistant handed the bag over with his change. She barely registered him, her eyes all for Harry – whether she just didn’t know Liam for who he was or was more interested in catching the other boy’s eyes he might never know. He was going to go with the former though, surely even if he wasn’t her favourite the fact he’d been presumed dead for almost six months had to have an impact if she recognised him. It was strange that it bothered him, Liam had imagined he’d be happier as just the ‘anonymous friend’.

“Mum and Dad had control over my accounts as I was missing, so I asked them just to keep it that way and send me a monthly allowance,” he explained as they once more hit the street, kind of busy this time of day but that worked for them instead of against.

Harry was giving him a funny look. “I bet they argued that, it’d be like acting you were still dead.”

Liam shrugged and hoisted his newly purchased canvas carry bag over his shoulder. “I’m just not that bothered, for most of my time away I never saw money, let alone credit cards, fancy clothes-.”

“Hair product,” Harry interrupted with a smirk.

“Hey,” Liam imitated Harry’s drawl. “I’ll have you know that behind what the average traveller may see the Bedouin have quite the vanity streak.”

“The Bedouin?” Harry stopped Liam with a hand and drew him to a small side alley for privacy. “I know you haven’t said much but is that who you were with?”

Liam gave it some thought but knew telling Harry wouldn’t put his friends in danger, for so long as he made his way to a coastal town he’d had to be careful who he spoke to, the wrong thing to the wrong person meant they might track his path back to the Bedouin family group who had sheltered him all those months after the ambush. If that happened the retaliation could have been terrible.

“You can’t tell anyone, but yeah,” he shrugged. “They were staying just outside the city when the insurgents attacked – somehow I ended up with them and they looked after me, got me out of there and I stayed with them as they crossed the country.” He knew he said it like it was no big thing, but given Harry’s jaw being open it must sound a lot more adventurous than he remembered it. He leaned in close and snapped shut Harry’s mouth, “By the way, camels do smell like shit and bite like a bitch.”

“But Liam,” Harry almost yelled before lowering his voice realising they were in public, luckily no-one had yet noticed them. “How did you end up with them, why didn’t you contact the base?”

Taking a careful look around Liam lifted his shirt and showed Harry his oldest scars, the ones he’d mostly been tracing last night. “Last I remember after the helicopter took off was taking shelter with the team, the insurgents were coming at us from all sides and I thought this was it – my time’s up, we’d tried to backtrack the route to find you but we’d been spotted.”

“What, and then you woke up with the Bedouin?” Harry asked, smoothing back Liam’s shirt and pulling his jacket over it, it was such a simple motion but so very Harry, very mother-hen.

“Yup,” Liam shrugged again. “I had burns and shrapnel, I guess that air-strike really did happen and they told me one of the children found me in the rubble, he got his uncle – one of the Bedouin, to get me out and for the next few weeks I was in and out of consciousness as the landscape gave way to less trees and more sand.”

Harry just shook his head and muttered ‘wow’.

“Eh,” Liam knew it sounded exciting but for those weeks he had very little idea of what was happening and even less of who he was, concussion and infection will do that. Combined with the fact there was no-one to trust who might not turn him over to the various insurgent groups, outside of the Bedouin, meant his rescuers had little choice but to hide him and care for him as they traveled their regular route. Truth be told he owed them everything but they never treated him like a burden, and the more he’d got to know them realised they’d be insulted if he tried to give them anything in return, even now. “Anyway, they got me as close as they could to the coast, after that I went it alone and eventually stowed away on a ship to Sri Lanka,” he lowered his voice as a group of girls walked past, eyeing him more than was comfortable. “Met up with Andy, had a little recovery time and now,” he did a little twirl. “Home and dry.” Of course there was a lot more to that journey but there was no need for Harry to hear it.

Harry suddenly hugged him long and hard, his change in breathing revealing he may have been crying again. “I’m so sorry Liam, for everything you suffered – its not fair.”

“Harry-Harry-Harry,” Liam patted the other’s head and lifted his face to kiss him for good measure, screw anyone who might see them – he’d stopped caring about image somewhere between sweating out a fever on the back of a camel and learning the young girl, Farah, who changed his dressings most nights had lost her entire family to an American missile, yet treated him with such tenderness because he reminded her of Rasheed, her beloved older brother. “I can’t explain it, but I cannot regret what happened to me.” Liam nuzzled into Harry’s neck, more to comfort the younger boy than anything else. “I saw terrible things Haz, but also the generosity of the human spirit, the forgiveness we can be capable of,” and the hardness needed to end those that had no compassion, but what use was it to tell anyone of that?

He held Harry’s face in his hands and peppered him with kisses until Harry let out a giggle. “Better?”

“I’m just so happy you’re home Liam,” Harry said huskily, his voice a little ruined from crying. “Not sure I’m ever gonna let you go again.”

“Oh I’ll be a kept man huh?” Liam teased and led Harry back along the street, their arms now interlocked. “Well if that’s the case I’ll let you buy me one designer shirt, but no love hearts!”

Harry kissed his cheek and beamed. “No promises Payno.”

1D1D1D1D1D

-Zayn-

“Right, well thanks anyway,” Louis said with a snap and dropped the phone to the chair, choosing instead to throw himself across Zayn’s lap. “Andy is a tosser, I’ve always said so.”

That was an out-and-out lie, Louis had always secretly loved Andy – but Zayn decided to just nod without commenting on it. “So no luck then?”

“Tosser said,” Louis spoke with his hands almost smacking Zayn in the face. “Liam will contact us when he wants to, he claims Payno ain’t even got a phone, which is bullshit.”

Zayn hummed and gave it some thought. There’d been no mention on social media, no news reports and nothing from Liam’s friends or family – sure they’d confirmed with Louis that he was alive and back in the UK, but would give nothing else away. Liam’s Twitter remained active but had nothing from him, same with any of his other accounts, public and private. Zayn had checked all their secret email accounts, even the ones the other boys knew nothing about, but still no message from Liam. Back on their first tour he and Liam had created a few emails so they could get in touch even if they were somehow separated or management put a ban on contact, they’d used them a few times while on holiday or when particularly paranoid about Louis planning a prank.

For the first few weeks after Liam went missing Zayn checked them obsessively, convincing himself Liam would choose this way to contact him, but of course there was never anything but spam in the inbox. He still had his phone set to alert of him of any messages from those accounts, but felt the need to constantly check anyway. If Louis knew of them he’d never said, besides Zayn figured they had their own secret methods of contact – once Liam and Louis had become proper friends they had a communication all of their own.

And no, Zayn refused to face the jealousy he’d often felt at that. Ridiculous now in any event, if Liam had felt the same he would’ve contacted Zayn first – instead of the ‘not-at-all’ they were all currently enduring.

“Maybe Harry’s spoken to him,” Zayn finally suggested, after Louis had almost gone to sleep on him muttering about hiring a private eye and taking out full page newspaper ads, Zayn wanted to tell him Liam would never read the paper but left it alone as he usually did when Louis was on a roll. It was not so much the lack of answer but his tensing up that made Zayn look down at a now wide-eyed Louis. “What?”

Louis fingers flittered against one another, his face going through a range of emotions, the last one being guilt and there were days Zayn wished he wasn’t so easy to read.

“Oh jeez, you haven’t told Harry have you?”

“Well have you? Of course not, when it comes to suffering in silence Zayn is King,” Louis countered angrily, then immediately looked guilty again. “Sorry, that’s uncalled for, you do enough looking after me.”

“Lou-eh,” he went to argue because, well he did look after him but saying it would make things awkward, and the silence comment, he knew himself enough to cop it sweet.

“No,” Louis sat up and pawed a little at Zayn’s shirt, a bit lose at the neck because Louis was always doing this thing of wanting to inspect Zayn’s tattoos, as if they had somehow changed overnight. “I know I’ve been a little needy.”

Zayn really tried not to snort, but the raised eyebrow from his friend indicated he had failed miserably.

“But that has to change,” Louis continued, moving to the side to free up Zayn he hugged one knee and chewed on his lip for a moment. “Its like, knowing Liam is back has made me just examine my own behaviour and, just wow!” he made motions of his head exploding which had Zayn smiling, this was the Louis he missed so much, self-depreciating and yet quite emotionally mature. “I don’t know how you put up with me Malik, I really don’t. Pretty sure I would’ve kicked my arse out of this place the second week, well maybe the third… definitely after the first month.”

Zayn chuckled at that and almost felt like his face was hurting from finally laughing after so long. “Its not my place, its Liam’s – you have just as much right to be here as me.”

Louis was giving him a very weird look, a kind of ‘are you kind of insane’ crossed with ‘you cannot be that stupid’ – the older lad had always been very capable of summing up multiple judgements with mostly his eyes, with a little help from his eyebrows.

“You actually believe that don’t you?” Louis finally asked, and laughed into his hand. “Oh man, Niall’s gonna piss himself at that.”

“What are you going on about?”

“Question,” Louis held up a finger. “How long was it before you had to go home to your, well your other home, before running out of anything?”

As he was about to challenge the ‘other home’ comment Zayn found himself realising what Louis was getting at. “I didn’t keep that much here, I mean I do now but that’s because we are here almost all the time.”

“Clothes yeah, and some minor essentials,” Louis waved them away like it wasn’t important. “But you already had your own coffee cups on the bench, hell the only coffee was the type you love. Food, well nothing fresh but in the pantry I found spiral pasta, basmati rice, corn flour, ghee, spices I can’t pronounce and jars of weird dried fruity things.”

“It was just dehydrated banana and mango for fucks sake Lou!” Zayn huffed loudly. “So Liam has ingredients in his pantry that I might like, maybe he enjoyed cooking so much-.”

“Ppppffffttttt!” Louis laughed loudly. “Liam. Our Liam – cook?” He went into a fit of laughter that had him falling over the side of the couch, Zayn was tempted to push him the rest of the way, but the fact he was laughing so openly for the first time in forever was hard to dislike. He stopped laughing for a moment and patted Zayn’s shoulder, “I think we both know there’s only one person who ever did any cooking in Liam’s kitchen,” he did use air-quotation marks and Zayn couldn’t help snorting out a laugh at his poor attempt at innuendo. He was kind of correct about the food though, if it weren’t for Zayn the only things Liam would have in his pantry were chips, dry biscuits and 2-minute noodles.

“The TV had shows booked that suit a certain person with a love of history and politics,” he was now ticking things off on his fingers, which with every one kind of took the humour out of it for Zayn as it rang so true to what Louis had been implying. “Hair products only someone with naturally straight hair would use, an electric toothbrush, something Liam wouldn’t touch let alone stick near his mouth,” Louis grinned maniacally, an expression Zayn hadn’t known he missed for so long it actually created a pang in his chest. 

“A special signed edition of the Harry Potter novels, worn and obviously very much loved copies of authors like Amis, Ballard, Bronte… modern fantasy books so thick the only thing Liam would use them for are for lifting when he’s lost his dumbbells,” Louis got up and pointed at the hallway. “Three jackets and several beanies I’m sure Liam wear… but I am also as sure they were not bought for him – the alarm code is the same as your phone’s, not his,” Louis managed to look contrite. “Sorry, I kind of know all your phone codes, it’s a thing.”

“Lou, I get it – I’m here a lot, was here a lot before Liam went missing, so what? Before all this I’m betting I could go to Harry’s and find lots of your-.”

“Low blow Zaynie,” Louis huffed and crossed his arms. “But I’ll let it slide because you are correct.” He licked his lips before moving forward and squatting down to grab Zayn’s knee. “But most of all, when we came back that first week, and I thought maybe we shouldn’t be here I called Karen, and she,” he stopped and his eyes misted up. “She laughed at me, all that was going on and she found time to find it funny, great gal that one.”

Zayn winced, he’d spoken to Karen heaps of times but he’d never thought to check about staying here, it just seemed natural they would look after the place.

“And then you know what she said,” Louis continued and moved up to speak directly in Zayn’s ear. “She told me I was asking the wrong person.”

“Me?” Zayn asked stupidly, understanding what her words had meant.

“You,” Louis shook his head and smiled. “Karen said this was your home too, and that Liam would want you here when he got back… no, she said need, he would need you here,” Louis corrected himself and just continued giving Zayn that damned half-smile.

Frowning Zayn pushed Louis back gently and shook his head. “Karen was always making jokes about the two of us, maybe she meant it, but that doesn’t mean Liam felt that way… or feels that way, whatever.”

Louis got up and stood playing with one of the books on the shelf before speaking almost so quietly Zayn couldn’t hear him. “And what about you Zayn,” he turned slowly, his serious face on. “Do you feel that way?”

Zayn couldn’t speak, he only stared at Louis and nodded slowly.

At least Louis didn’t clap and say ‘ah-hah!’ and go on about knowing it all along. He just sucked on his lip for a while before shrugging. “Cool, so we gonna call Harry then?”

Instead of answering Zayn got up and enveloped Louis in a bone-crushing hug which only made the other squeak a little bit. For an annoying borderline narcissist with serious boundary issues Louis was kind of easy to like but hard to love, but when you did Zayn knew that Louis could return that love tenfold.

“Why isn’t he here Louis?” Zayn mumbled into the other’s neck. He wanted to cry while in this safe place with his best friend, but the tears just wouldn’t come. “If he’s back then where’s he staying? Why won’t he come home?”

Louis leaned back so they could see each other properly and his eyes held a steely determination Zayn had not seen in far too long. “First things first Zaynie boy – we need to get the band back together.”

“And second?” Zayn asked as Louis started putting some shoes on.

Louis laughed loudly, and hearing it almost made Zayn feel maybe things would be okay. “I only ever start the trouble Zayn, I rely on smarter folk like you to get us out of it.”

“Well then,” Zayn went and got his own boots, and allowed himself to laugh too. “Maybe things are getting back to normal.”

Tbc…


	4. Chapter 4

-Harry-

He’d managed to talk Liam up to a leather jacket with a dark blue knitted hood, it wasn’t a designer piece but still expensive enough for Liam to have to be coerced, if a quick hand-job in the change room could be considered bribery. He was going to go with a shirt like Liam had suggested but the afternoon had turned cold and the clothes Liam had started the day in just wouldn’t do.

Liam had the hood pulled up now and not just because they were outside and the wind was blowing. “Closer,” he said in a voice lower than it should be, but Harry obeyed and pulled the girls in, getting a giggle out of them. “Great,” Liam said, and held the phone to the girls. “Got it, I’m sure your friends at school will be jealous.”

With only a few more hugs and ‘I love you Harry’ the girls finally left and Harry grinned at Liam, still in that wary stance he’d had all day. “They didn’t recognise you, even when you looked straight at them.”

“If I’d tried to hide they would’ve wondered why, sometimes its easier to stay out of sight by not being sneaky,” Liam gave a weird smile. “Part of me kind of wanted them to know me.”

“Awww,” Harry laughed and moved in to wrap an arm around him. “Not quite able to be the man of mystery huh?”

“Nah, that was always Zayn’s job,” Liam remarked as they continued walking back to the car. “Can I ask about them then, without you getting that look on your face?”

Almost stumbling Harry internally shrugged, not as if Liam didn’t already know there were issues. “Go ahead.”

“In here,” Liam first led them to the pub doors, the same Harry had taken note of earlier, either Liam had noticed or just had the same idea. Taking a rear corner Liam ordered drinks first then sat up against Harry. “Is Niall doing okay, is he laughing properly or giving that nervous chuckle every few words?”

Turning to him Harry could see the very real concern in Liam’s eyes, so this wasn’t just to appear like he cared. Which had been a concern because while today had been great, just him and Liam together, Harry had noticed how he’d become quite detached in many ways. It was little things, like Liam not reacting where he would have before; a woman tripping and him not helping, or walking by a child and not asking why they were crying. “Niall’s okay, I only see him at rehearsals but except spending even more time with the band guys he’s kind of back to normal.”

“Meaning he wasn’t before,” Liam stated, picking up on what wasn’t said much like Louis would normally do.

Taking a quick sip of his drink Harry shrugged. “He had some troubles the first month or two, as far I know Zayn took care of it – made sure he went home to the family and that one of us was with him most nights. Must have worked since Niall finally asked us to give him some peace, I think he’s been seeing someone, lovely girl from some radio show we did.”

“That’s good, great even,” Liam nodded and Harry was going to try and go on pretending Liam’s face didn’t go all scrunched up when he’d mentioned Zayn. “And you and Louis, why is the great Larry Stylinson at war then?”

“You promised never to use that name again,” Harry accused, pointing a finger at Liam who playfully tried to bite it.

“Did not.”

“Did too,” Harry laughed. “Was my birthday wish and you all agreed.”

“Missile strike, concussion – desert heat,” Liam tapped his head. “I plead amnesia.”

“Liam Payne,” Harry admonished. “You’re terrible,” he grinned and tapped Liam’s head as well. “I’m also certain you can only use that excuse like, three times, so be careful because we haven’t got onto Zayn yet.” His grin widened as Liam squinted at him, so much like old times.

Taking a huge gulp of his drink before continuing this time Harry sighed soberly. “Louis just doesn’t get it. I mean I did,” he emphasised the ‘did’ after a hard stare from Liam. “Feel guilty about you going missing, but never really believed he actually blamed me – but he worked so hard to try and make me believe he didn’t that I kind of… I don’t know – maybe its like some kind of reverse psychology shit.”

“He would never blame you,” Liam said it with such conviction that Harry wanted to believe it. But that was hard, and maybe Louis didn’t, but while trying so hard to assuage Harry’s guilt Louis had also made it clear he wanted little to do with Harry. He’d never come around, never called just to catch up and all his other communication was via email or text – when he knew Harry hated that from him. “Its not just that,” Harry mumbled and played with his now almost empty glass, he thinks Liam ordered more which means they would not be driving back today.

“He was so territorial about everything. If there was any official comment it had to be by him, and if we wanted to suggest any search ideas it had to go through him, and basically if he didn’t think it up he vetoed everything anyway.”

“You searched for me?” Liam seemed honestly surprised.

“Of course we did,” Harry wanted to laugh but it was kind of sad Liam thought that way. “We weren’t allowed back there of course, but we hired locals, international search companies, private outfits-.”

“You mean mercenaries?”

“Not allowed to call them that,” Harry said by rote. “Part of the contract and also management said if anyone knew we’d hired mercenaries we could be up for criminal charges.”

“Wow,” Liam nodded at the barman as the drinks arrived, he must’ve convinced him to bring them over since Harry was fairly sure a pub like this did not have table service. “That’s pretty bloody awesome Harry, thanks I guess.”

“Didn’t work though did it?” Harry said grumpily, reminded that Liam had to find his own way back to safety.

“Who knows,” Liam said thoughtfully. “Maybe with all them searching in one part of the country I was able to get out the other end without being noticed by the insurgents.”

“Yeah maybe,” Harry dropped a hand to Liam’s leg and squeezed, he liked thoughtful Liam but the circumstances were hard to face. “So anyway, it was easier for me just to stop talking to Louis, and he didn’t seem to notice.”

“Oh he would’ve noticed,” Liam said with a raised brow. “He noticed everything about you Styles, everything you did, said and didn’t say.”

“What are you suggesting Payne?”

Liam spoke against his ear, “I’m still co-captain of the HMS Larry Stylinson.”

Shoving him off Harry laughed and pointed the finger again.

“Amnesia?” Liam pouted, an expression that had been known to make even the toughest tour managers give in to strange requests, like getting permission to paint a hotel room wall… for Zayn of course.

“Amnesia!” Harry turned his finger into a two-finger salute. “That’s twice Liam, only one more to go.” The second drink was already half empty and when the hell had that happened. “And for the record I have not now, nor have I ever, had sexual relations with that man.”

Liam gave a booming laugh before signalling to the bar for more drinks. “You do know,” he said conspiratorially. “That quote is from someone actually lying about not having sex with said person.”

Shit, he was right, Harry grumbled in good nature and elbowed Liam instead. “Louis’ not my type anyway – too pretty.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Harry spoke without thinking. “Like my men a bit messed up.” He immediately regretted it, and kissed Liam’s cheek. “Sorry, meant it in a nicely stubbled, uneven jaw kind of way.”

“Are you talking about me?” Liam massaged his own jaw. “Or Tyler Posey?”

“Both?” Harry gave a lop-sided smile.

“Well you might lust after both of us but you got to hook up with me,” Liam gave him a wink as more drinks arrived.

“Ummmm, yep,” Harry squeaked and sipped the drink, refusing to make eye contact.

“Styles!” Liam lowered his voice. “Seriously - Posey?”

Harry put his head back and whistled softly.

“Oh sorry,” Liam chuckled. “Forgot about your rule.”

“It’s a good rule,” Harry finally looked at Liam properly again. “There’ll always be stories about my alleged sex life, but those stories never come from me,” he munched on a piece of ice from Liam’s vodka and coke. “I can’t be caught in a lie if I never say anything.”

“Even if its just us?”

Harry shook his head, he knew as light as Liam was keeping it he was still a little frustrated that Harry was keeping something from him, minor as it was.

“Sorry Li, only in the privacy of home,” he wriggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Once there we can try some things that I promise never to never talk about.”

Liam held up his glass. “Not sure how we’re gonna get there.”

Harry toyed with the cuff of his shirt, his nervousness was not about getting home, he’d already made arrangements via a hurried text message. He was more concerned about the fact there was one person Liam had not yet asked about specifically, and that was just wrong. Maybe it was too painful, perhaps Liam really wanted to know but didn’t want to seem too eager.

“You found your way across a war-torn nation and half an ocean Liam, pretty sure we’ll make it back to London,” Harry said, side-stepping the issue of going home for now. “So, you wanna know about Zayn or not?”

Liam gave a wry smile and shrugged, not in the least surprised Harry had asked first.

“He’s kept himself busy,” Harry went on since Liam said nothing. “Mostly looking after the rest of us. I’m not sure if it was a conscious decision or he did it to not face the fact you were gone.” Smirking at a few memories of Zayn venting about Louis over the last few months Harry nudged Liam. “You’d be proud of him, not killing Louis and all.”

Liam nodded and looked pleased but still said nothing.

“Like I said before, he really helped Niall – and organised the rest of us when all we seemed capable of doing was staring at TV screens and ordering food in every night.” They had been bad days, management had handled much of everything else and cancelled any upcoming performances and events. Harry knew better than anyone that their contracts were incredibly complicated and held many redundancies for one of them either leaving the band or refusing to perform, even for one or more of them dying. For all that Liam going missing in such circumstances seemed to prevent any demands for them to go on anytime soon, maybe management knew it would not go well with the fans, or perhaps they had hearts? Harry was betting on the former. Unfortunately with nothing to occupy their time and unable to go out without being pounced on by the press they were only able to sit around and ponder what had happened to Liam.

“We um,” he licked his lips and leant into Liam, once more noticing how hard Liam felt, comforting, but lacking in the pliancy he once had. “It was pretty messed up Li, I mean whenever we’ve had bad times before it was you there to pull us through, to remind us what we had,” Harry interlaced their fingers and swallowed back a new batch of tears. “So I guess without you we shouldn’t have been surprised that Zayn took the job. I think he had his hands full with Louis but he always made time for Niall and even for me, checking up on us daily at first, then less often when it was obvious we weren’t going to implode. Once, when he’d managed to get Niall to stay with Louis, he made me go home to the family for a week – and to ensure I stayed he came with me,” Harry snorted at the memory. “Can you believe Zayn staying with my crazy family, it was just insane but yet it worked… got me out of my funk.”

Liam was looking confused and finally spoke. “What did you mean ‘even for me’?”

“Well you know,” Harry shrugged. “Zayn and me have not been the closest for quite a while, maybe we never were – so it was kind of great to have him so interested and to take time out to see me home.”

“Are you mad,” Liam actually seemed a little annoyed. “Zayn thought the sun shone out of yer arse mate. He was always going on about whatever fantastic thing you’d done or said, or would be laughing at some stupid joke you made.”

“Yeah?” Harry was honestly surprised, Zayn had just not seemed that into him.

“Absolutely,” Liam nodded and pointed at Harry’s chest. “He was always saying you had the biggest heart, and was worried you’d get it broken beyond repair one day – heaps of times he made me promise to keep on eye on you when he wasn’t going to be around for awhile… never close you say, crazy talk Styles, bloody crazy.” Liam had lost his anger but now he was talking he went on with a an intensely confused expression. “And why would anyone be surprised Zayn stepped up? If you ask me he always cared the most, would have to remind me about going too far and stepping on toes,” Liam grinned at some memory he must have had. “He’d wake me at some arse-o-clock and demand I apologise to Louis for changing a lyric he’d written, or to tear me a new one for not checking if Niall had got in okay,” he slapped Harry’s back. “And a few times he’d stride into my room, no knocking or anything, and call me a few choice names for not paying you enough attention when you were talking about your family.” 

Downing his drink Liam slammed the glass down, not exactly in anger but more to emphasise his point. “Zayn is the single biggest reason we managed to keep it all together for so long, he was the calm in our storm; able to make the biggest problems seem so easily fixed and he did it never asking for praise or most of the time not wanting you all to know he’d done anything – he’s simply the best of us and I think it fucking sucks that it took me disappearing for you all to realise it.”

“Wow,” Harry brushed his hair back and stared at Liam, blinking his eyes slowly. “Bloody hell Liam, I knew you and Zayn were… well you know, but bugger me.”

“What’re talking about,” Liam seemed genuinely confused.

“Oh just the fact that you are one-hundred percent absolutely fully in love with Zayn.”

Full credit to Liam, he barely reacted and just blinked back at Harry much as he had just done himself. “It doesn’t matter,” Liam finally muttered. “I’ve made myself forget all that, not worth getting excited about it.”

“Why not?” Harry knew it was partly the drink talking but this was good news. Sure everyone and their dog knew Liam and Zayn had a thing for each other, but hearing Liam talk showed how much love he really had for Zayn, and Harry had never had any doubt that Zayn loved Liam at least as much. “If you’re worried about this,” he pointed at Liam and himself. “Sorry, I mean I love you, and I love this thing we’ve got – but I would never get in the middle of the two of you.”

“That’s… not it,” Liam sighed and rubbed his head, tenderly tracing the large scar.

“Then what, c’mon Li, you going to tell me if Zayn walked through that door right now-.”

In a flash Liam had grabbed Harry’s arm and brought his face up close, studying him intently. This close, Harry was caught between admiring the beauty of his brown eyes and being intimidated by their ferocity.

Finally Liam let go and leaned back. “Mother fucker,” he muttered and stood, collecting his jacket on the way. “You couldn’t just leave it could you?”

“What the hell ya talking about?” Harry tried to go for innocent but this Liam was too on the ball, even slightly drunk he’d worked Harry out in seconds.

Snatching Harry’s phone Liam punched in the code deftly and went to his messages. “Hey!” Harry yelped. “How did you know my password?”

“Louis knows all your codes,” Liam shook his head, reading Harry’s last text. “And I knew how to make him talk… you told them where we were!”

“I had to,” Harry crossed his arms and refused to feel guilty. “You need to understand what this means for them Liam, and for you.”

Liam was surveying the room which was kind of useless, even if Zayn had left straight away they’d be at least another half hour. “I’m not ready Harry, I can’t just jump back in – how could you do this? I trusted you,” he looked back at Harry and bit his lip, his eyes were tearing up. “You want me to wait here for them? Then tell me, honestly – tell me how much do you think I’ve changed, how much do you really know me anymore,” he came in close again and loomed over Harry. “Tell me if you aren’t just a little bit afraid?”

Damn it but Harry felt himself flinch, because Liam was right. Before all this Liam had a temper and would shout and go all bombastic but none of them ever took much notice because it was Liam; harmless puppy-dog Liam who would never hurt anyone. This Liam though, after a night and a day Harry knew it was the same person but Liam was correct that a small part of Harry wondered what he was now capable of doing, if he was able to hold himself back from doing something in the heat of the moment.

“That’s the only answer I need,” Liam must have noticed his flinch and turned away, Harry quickly reached out to clasp his hand.

“Liam please, don’t,” the alcohol had hit its mark though and Liam easily slipped out of his grip, Harry fumbled trying to grab him again and got the sleeve, this time in desperation he gripped tight which pulled him up as Liam moved away. He used his momentum to throw an arm around Liam’s chest but once again misjudged and he went around his neck instead; in a move so quick Liam ducked and spun, slamming an open palm into Harry’s chest, forcing him down and feeling like all air had been sucked from the room. Said room spun as he gasped and blindly tried to find something to hold himself up.

“Harry, god no, I’m so sorry,” Liam’s voice sounded like they were underwater and Harry couldn’t speak to tell him it was okay, that he should have known such a move was stupid after what Liam had been through. “This is why,” Liam was speaking as he helped Harry to sit and rubbed his back. “Just breath Harry, you can do it, just feels like you can’t, that’s it.”

He was right, the weight on his chest was a phantom, tricking his body into thinking he couldn’t inflate his lungs but as he forced himself the oxygen returned and a little bit of level-headedness. “Liam,” he managed to croak, trying to put all meaning in to that one word.

“No Harry,” Liam sniffed and stood up straight – lifting his hood up and over so his face was in shadow. “I’m a monster now… I’ll only ever hurt you – hurt him.” He walked away, without another word and Harry didn’t have the strength to follow; he reached out an arm but all he could see was the dark form that was his best friend fade and disappear through an almost hidden exit door.

When Zayn and Louis found him twenty minutes later he was still staring at the door and hating himself because he didn’t blame Liam for leaving – not because he actually thought Liam was a monster but because he was right about one thing. They were not the same anymore.

The old Liam would never have done that, and even if he had would not have left. Worse for Harry he couldn’t blame Liam, because Harry had betrayed him; tricked him and lay a trap. Not only would old Harry not have done that, he couldn’t believe he’d done it to the man who of everyone had sought him out first, had trusted him with his story and showed his scars. Had slept with him and shown him such tenderness.

Harry said nothing as they led him out and to the car, his eyes blank as he thought of Liam’s words and answered them in his head. 

“No Liam, you’re not the monster, I am.”

Tbc…


	5. Chapter 5

-Niall-

Getting Josh home after a regular drinking session was difficult enough, tonight had been more than regular. For some reason the rest of the crew had decided it had been a very good practice and that therefore deserved a big night out. Honestly, Niall was just surprised they’d stuck with them this long, especially since it seemed more and more unlikely a new tour was not looking likely. What most people never quite got was that One Direction was not just five boys singing, it was the band who actually played the music, the producers who created the songs from their words, the stage crew, the wardrobe, the security and the multitude of other people who not only made One Direction happen but relied on that pay cheque. 

Niall was almost certain that if were just about the four of them left, there would be no more tour or new album. Except it wasn’t just about them and besides, professionalism meant going ahead even when you wanted nothing more than to go home, lock the door and sleep for a million years. The first two months of Liam being gone were hard, and Niall had just not seen any use in doing, well in doing anything. Thanks to Zayn and the others though he’d got back up, dusted himself off and went to work most days to keep this thing going. Not for his bank account, that was big enough thank you very much, but for other things, like doing something you loved and doing it for the people you loved.

Even when one of those people could barely walk, had tried to chat up a tree and had puked into Niall’s recycling bin – which was just plain wrong and in Niall’s opinion not environmentally responsible.

“There you go mate,” he managed to dump Josh on the bed, with a clean bucket and a big bottle of water. “You can thank me in the morning by shouting breakfast,” he eyed the other lad, splayed across the sheets, limbs in all directions and drool already collecting at the side of his mouth. “Better make it lunch,” he said more softly and rearranged Josh, putting him on his side so if he did puke again he wouldn’t choke. 

He turned off the bedroom light and made his way to the kitchen, making himself a ginger tea and sighing as he sat down at the table and went through his tablet, checking for any news of Liam or the other boys. Louis had texted him about going to meet Harry who was apparently with Liam down in Bristol, that had been hours ago and since there had been no update Niall figured there may have been some photos turn up.

Sipping the tea he cursed softly because there was nothing, not even a mention. Fact was they had dropped off most celebrity site’s radar, unless one of them turned up to an event or was seen out with other famous people; because of this it didn’t take him long to check all the normal sites and a google search gave him nothing for today. His phone beeped in the silence and it was from Zayn, they’d found Harry but Liam had left.

“Of course he did,” Niall mumbled to himself. “Why make it easy? Come all the way back home but don’t come see us, oh no, too easy for Liam bloody Payne.” He refilled his cup and checked the fridge for any snacks, nothing there so he reached for the apple that should be in the basket on the bench… it was empty.

Two things Niall was fastidious enough about to know when it had been touched, his guitar and his fruit. Everyone on tour knew to leave his fruit alone, even Louis had learnt to not screw with such things. It had taken weeks to find a good fruit and veg shop in walking distance and longer than that to convince them to get in his favourite type of apple. So when they had left this morning he’d noted that there was one left, not something to forget since he’d only had one beer tonight. Add to that he lived alone, sort of, Josh crashing here for the last three months didn’t mean anything.

Regardless it left him with only one possibility.

“I’ve got fucking rats,” he hissed and stalked around the room, searching for any other evidence of the vermin. No luck in the kitchen he moved to the dining room, rarely used for eating it did have cupboards but he detected no droppings or scraps underneath them.

Next was the lounge room and he was kind of chuffed it was so easy to lift the couch, the regular heavy workouts were really taking effect. Nothing to find unless you counted the green peanut M&M and unopened bottle of cider, which Niall counted as a win. The bathroom was similarly empty of any rat shenanigans, it was only as he was rummaging through the hallway linen closet that it finally dawned on him that something else was different.

His bedroom door was closed.

Since his bedroom was down the hall from the spare room, fine Josh’s room, Niall really had to start admitting the guy actually lived here now; he had not noticed the door closed when getting Josh to bed.

Striding up to the door Niall went to barge through and face who or what was in there, but at the last second he looked at his phone again. Liam had left before they got there, but if Harry was still there then…

It was no great leap for Niall to deduct that if indeed Liam was back in London but not at his own home then Harry was a pretty good bet – they’d always had something going on, or would have if there wasn’t the Zayn factor. If he’d left Harry though then barring any of his other mates Niall figured he knew exactly who was in his bedroom.

He went to knock but stopped himself, chances were if Liam had been awake he’d have come out by now given how much noise Niall had been making on his hunt for the rat. Twisting the knob he looked in from the hall, and sure enough a figure was asleep on the bed. The side light was still on and the guy had no covers on, must have fallen asleep fully clothed. Stepping lightly Niall moved around so he could see a face and he managed not to gasp at Liam’s gaunt features under a shaved head.

He’d lost heaps of weight and seemed so small, sleeping soundly in only jeans and a tight t-shirt. As Niall stepped closer his foot nudged a bottle, an empty vodka bottle. That explained the deep sleep, or likely unconsciousness, thankfully Liam was already on his side with half his face scrunched up in a pillow. Running his eyes over Liam in the soft light Niall could see his hip bone jutting out sharply and a few lighter patches on his arm and around a bare ankle that looked like scars. If it wasn’t for his lack of hair and stubbled face Niall could almost think this was Liam from when he’d first met him, all thin legs and arms with lean muscles but so slight you just wanted to bundle him up and protect him.

Sure Niall had been just as small and he knew how they all felt protective of him but part of him always felt not quite as delicate as the others. Maybe it was being from another country or how his upbringing was a bit different or possibly just that he was able to separate his public persona from his private one. He would always be thankful for the help the boys had given him when he was suffering depression after Liam disappeared but he also knew he’d bounced back and moved on – it was them he worried had not made an effort to keep going without Liam.

Now here he was, the guy that had sent them all into this nose dive, part of Niall wanted to punch him, the other to crawl in and hug him. He made do with making a quick trip back to the kitchen and grabbing a water bottle, much as he had with Josh. Covering Liam with a light quilt Niall took a last look at his friend returned from the dead, “Welcome back Liam,” he whispered and turned off the light.

Once back out in the kitchen he stared at his phone. He knew he had to let them know but didn’t want any more company tonight, two drunk guys was quite enough thanks very much. Settling with a quick text ‘he’s okay but asleep – DO NOT COME OVER!’ Niall turned off the phone and eyed the couch in the living room.

Why was it he had two perfectly good beds in the house and could use neither of them?

1D1D1D1D1D

-Liam-

Waking up was hard after drinking even more than he normally could and the fact Niall had just about the most comfortable bed he’d ever been in. He also felt shitty that he’d crashed here without even a note for Niall, no guilt for using the spare key since he knew where it was but it was kind of rude to just take the guy’s bed. Finally he groaned and after a quick bathroom visit made his way to the kitchen where he was surprised to find Niall sitting at the bench, pot of steaming tea and buttered toast in front of him.

“Uh, um,” his voice barely worked and Niall gave him a raised eyebrow but stayed where he was, instead making a motion at the food and drink with his head. Liam got the message and tucked in, leave it to the Niall to know he could only stomach simple things this morning.

Niall was tapping away on his tablet and making notes in a worn journal, flicking a look at Liam every now and then. He put it to the side just as Liam finished the toast and smiled kindly. “Fuck its good to see you Li.”

“You too,” Liam smiled back, his voice working a little better. “Sorry for stealing the bed.”

“Forget about it,” Niall shrugged it off. “Would have joined ya but I’m not sure who would’ve been more upset, Harry or Zayn.”

Liam waited a beat. “Or Josh.”

Niall barked out a laugh and got up, giving Liam a quick sideways hug and then leaning in to study his most obvious scar. He whistled softly, “Bet that hurt like a bitch eh? Didn’t notice that last night.”

“I’ve got others, if you want to see them?” Liam felt so comfortable saying that to Niall, his lack of shock and sympathy was a welcome relief.

“Nah,” Niall chuckled softly but did pat Liam on the shoulder. “Save it for the lads, well the other lads.” He stared off towards the bedrooms, maybe wondering if Josh would be up soon because Liam was fairly certain the other boy must be here if his drunken inspection of the spare bedroom was anything to go by. “Just so you know I told them you were here last night but not to come over… but they’ll probably ignore that today.”

That made sense, and its not as if Liam expected Niall to not tell them, keeping secrets was not something Niall had ever been comfortable doing. Also, maybe it had been the hours thinking about things after leaving Harry, but he didn’t feel the need to run knowing they’d be here at any time. Strange to be kind of numb about seeing Louis and Zayn considering he’d been anxious about it since returning to London.

He grinned at Niall instead of giving him a response to the unanswered question. “So we’re all good then, reunion done?”

Rolling his eyes Niall crossed his arms and huffed. “Whaddya want, hugs and kisses with lots of tears?”

“Well at least a dry hump,” Liam suggested cheekily, earning a nudge from Niall and for this moment it did seem a little bit like old times. “But failing that, I guess I’ll make do using your shower and then getting an update on all things Horan.”

“Go ahead, just don’t disturb Josh,” Niall’s cheeks reddened at how protective that probably sounded and waved Liam off. “Just go, you do stink a little.”

Liam got to the door before turning around. “Hey Niall… thanks.”

The other boy gave him a bit of a probing look before nodding just once. “No worries Payno, and good to have ya back.”

In the bathroom Liam stared at his reflection for a while and studied his face, alternatively blocking out a side so he could see the more damaged side compared to the other. He didn’t really know why he was doing it but suspected Niall’s words had something to do with it. The fact was every time someone said something like that it made Liam ponder if it was true… was he really back?

Pausing on the good side he felt that anxiousness return because it was the weirdest thing – his undamaged side looked more a stranger to himself than the scarred one. Then he chuckled at what he was doing because he knew if Zayn had been here there would have been a drawn out discussion of the psychology of Two-Face.

Batman villains aside Liam lowered his hand and instead studied his complete features, short hair, almost healed wounds and slightly cracked lips – all of that and he could still kind of see the old him in there. But then he remembered how he’d attacked Harry yesterday, how he’d known it was Harry touching him but when he felt trapped the instincts just kicked in and he lashed out.

The hot water was a welcome relief and he leaned against the tiles, letting the spray massage his shoulder which always ached in the mornings. If he could get through the hell of the last six months then he could bloody well meet up with people who once meant the world to him. Why then was he itching to escape? So tempting to grab his bag and bolt out the door – maybe to this time never return. It wasn’t fear exactly but more like what he’d told Harry, that he had become some kind of monster and who would want to know him then?

Liam hissed into the pain rotating the joint and told himself that he’d run for long enough. Maybe after today it wouldn’t matter anyway, likely Zayn would look at him and not want to know him anymore. At least then Liam could put this part behind him and move on.

It just seemed that would be the best thing for everyone.

1D1D1D1D1D1D1D

Freshly showered and having borrowed some of Josh’s clothes, since Niall’s were a little too large in the torso, Liam was unsurprised to find Harry seated with Niall. Searching the room he raised his eyebrows and Harry answered.

“I convinced them to stay away, just me Li.”

Liam stared at Harry, turned in his chair and giving Liam a look that was hard to work out, it wasn’t anger, or hurt or anything Harry should be directing his way… it was almost as if he was looking at him with sorrow.

“Haz,” Liam started, but any words died and his arms just flapped uselessly, as if he could somehow sign how sorry he was about attacking him. Having Harry right here in front of him just made it so very real and therefore how no matter how much he thought he was ready this was just too much. “I can’t, I just have to-.” Liam turned to walk away, time to get his bag and keep going, but a body enveloping him in a hug prevented any movement and he only resisted a second before relaxing into Harry.

Right now he’d never felt so small and so protected and so Liam let the tears fall and would have collapsed if Harry hadn’t had him. “M’sorry,” he mumbled through a wayward sob and then grimaced at how pathetic that was, him, being a mess in front of two of his best friends.

“Its okay,” Harry whispered. “I’ve got you, you’re safe… don’t run Liam, please, don’t leave again.”

Those few words made something click in Liam and he sighed, nodding slightly even if Harry couldn’t see it. “I’ll stay,” he said softly and couldn’t help but notice Harry relax slightly. “I’ll stay,” he said more forcefully because he knew it wasn’t really a promise to Harry and Niall, it was to himself.

Tbc...


	6. Chapter 6

Half an hour later and Liam was finally alone again with Niall, Harry had taken a still shocked and severely hung-over Josh out for coffee but only after assuring Liam he had nothing to be sorry for and he hadn’t hurt him. Liam would believe that when he saw his chest, because he must have left a bruise at least, maybe later he’d know since he figured he’d be staying back at Harry’s again. Niall’s was great but it was obvious Niall already had a house-mate.

“So… Josh?” Liam said, smiling to show he was good with it.

“Its not what you think,” Niall said carefully and shrugged. “We’ve snogged a few times and a bit of groping but more like a heavy friendship than anything.” He smiled to himself and leaned back, stretching his arms and Liam couldn’t help notice the bulging biceps, Niall had been busy these months working on more than music and getting better after his apparent breakdown. “So,” he said back at Liam in the same tone. “Harry?”

It was Liam’s turn to shrug and he wasn’t really sure how to answer, he wasn’t ashamed or anything but it had only been the one night so far… well and the shopping trip. “More a welcome back present,” he tried and Niall’s gaze said both he wasn’t buying it and disapproved. “What? I can’t have a bit of fun, because its Harry or because he’s a boy?”

“Ha!” Niall cleared the dishes and loaded them in the washer. “I just finished telling ya how I’m pretty much diddling the little drummer boy and you think I’ve got a problem with ya lovin’ a bit of cock?” He closed the washer door forcefully not allowing Liam to respond as he pointed a finger at him. “You know what I’m talking about and its got nothing to do with being gay and everything to do with the fact its Harry, don’t get me wrong, he’s good for you. Even if I didn’t think that the way he handled you just before would’ve convinced me. I just think there’s someone else who might make an even better argument for you to stay.”

Liam leaned against the counter and bit his lip, he knew exactly what Niall was getting at but that didn’t mean he had to agree with it. “That’s done, nothing there for me.”

Niall’s eyebrows almost shot off his head and he seemed lost for words, a rare sight that almost made Liam laugh before he realised that would be inappropriate. “Look,” Liam continued in the silence. “I’m not saying there wasn’t definitely something between me and Zayn, maybe we never said the words but I’m not that stupid,” he grinned at his own levity but Niall wasn’t amused. “I know he liked me, and as for me… well I think-.”

“Yeah yeah,” Niall interrupted, waving his hand. “You thought the sun arose with his smile and could probably see the sunset in his eyes, or some romantic bullshit like that.” He gave Liam a hard stare. “You think we didn’t all know it, hell Liam the bloody world knew it. What worries me is you think somehow that’s not true anymore?”

Shaking his head Liam tried to find the right words. “It just can’t be.”

“What, did this jumble your brains or something?” Niall almost touched the scar across his head but held back at the last second and suddenly looked ashamed. “Sorry, that’s a terrible thing to say.”

Grabbing Niall’s hand before he could withdraw it Liam eased it to the scar like Niall had first planned to do and let him feel its ridge, the smooth sides and the way it snaked across cheek and temple. “Liam,” Niall’s voice broke for the first time since Liam had seen him again. “How did you do it? How did you survive?”

That was the crux of it really, for Liam had survived when so many others had not. It was mostly luck, the help of a few brave people and one other little thing. “I had to let go of me,” he said blankly. “Everything I was, that guy – Liam Payne, he couldn’t make it, couldn’t do what was needed. I left him behind… him and all he was.”

Niall shook his head but left his hand upon Liam’s face. “I’m sorry, sorry you had to do that, that you still think that… but I don’t believe it.” He patted Liam’s chest, “This is still Liam, you are not some other person – you need to understand that because however you feel, I guarantee you are still the Liam I know.”

“Agreed,” a new voice spoke from across the room and Liam hissed in surprise and spun around.

Louis, a wry grin on his face walked slowly forward. “A little thinner, more rugged perhaps,” he stopped and licked his lips, eyeing Liam carefully. “But the same dopey eyed, slack jawed and totally adorable little darling we all know and love.”

“Sure of that are you?” Liam tried not to smile but felt his lip curl up, having Louis here right in front of him reminded him of how much he’d missed the way Louis could brighten any day.

“Absolutely,” Louis said emphatically and trailed a hand from Liam’s stomach all the up to his chest and around to the back of his neck, this time being ready for such touching didn’t make Liam react badly like he had with Harry. For his part Louis lowered his head on to Liam’s chest and just breathed deep, locking Liam in with his arms and refusing to move.

“Louis I -.”

Liam’s words were immediately hushed by Louis, holding up a finger with his head still buried in his chest. “Just… don’t,” he mumbled and held on for a good ten more seconds before sniffing and releasing Liam. Wiping at his eyes and blinking rapidly Louis seemed to shake it all off as he breathed in deeply and fixed Liam with his patented glare. “You said that we’d be,” he gulped back a flash of emotion and went on again. “You said you’d have us all back together in no time.”

Liam huffed loudly and shook his head, typical Lou, at least that had remained the same. “And I asked you take care of them, how’d that pan out?”

“Fuck you Payno,” Louis said with a slight smile. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to reign in these goons, ‘s like trying to herd cats.”

“Aw, this reunion is so touching I could just go and write a song about it,” Niall spoke up, holding a hand to his heart. “Or go and vomit in the sink, now that the moment has passed though we do have something kind of important to discuss.”

“What? Do need me to be best man at your wedding with Josh?” Louis asked snidely.

“Wha! Blah! Nah!” Niall finally settled with giving Louis the finger. “You leave Josh alone, he still hasn’t recovered from your ‘friendly ‘sex talk.”

“I was just doing what Liam ordered me to,” Louis said crossing his arms and winking at Liam. “Looking after our boys, if Joshy is going to take your innocence I wanted to be sure he’d treat you right.”

“Right,” Niall nodded sarcastically, which was something only Niall seemed capable of doing if you asked Liam. “I think I’ll be fine,” he walked up and bumped Louis with his hip. “Good to have you over by the way, been a while.”

“Actually,” said Louis smartly, making a point to look around the room. “I don’t think I’ve ever been here before.”

Niall opened his mouth to argue but obviously thought better of it, instead turning his attention to Liam but still talking to Louis. “Back to important matters… Harry will be back soon, we’re already here but I am still seeing one very obvious problem.”

“Yes?” Louis finally asked when Niall said nothing but just kept eye-balling Liam.

“Where-is-Zayn?”

Niall’s question made Liam turn to Louis and he saw him gulp and lick his lips, twisting his hands together and look right back. “He’s um… he’s outside, in the car.”

Liam turned his gaze to the wall, as if he could see right through it to the vehicle outside.

A hand appeared in his as Louis joined him. “Consider me the forward scout, checking the coast is clear – god Li, he needs to see you so badly but just stayed in his seat, pretending it was no big thing.”

Feeling his heart speed up, so loud they should be able to hear it, at just the knowledge Zayn was so close made a few things click in Liam’s head, mostly the fact that quite obviously his feelings were not as buried as he would have thought. If anything he’d gotten good at in the last six months it was turning thought into action, in no time he’d shrugged on the jacket Harry had bought him and found his shoes in the corners of Niall’s room.

Standing before Niall and Louis he tried to smile but knew it came across as a grimace, out of habit he traced the scar on his head and he saw Louis frown slightly. “It does hurt.”

“What?”

“Everybody always wants to know, even if they don’t ask – the scar… it hurts, just about all the time.”

Louis shook his head but stepped forward and gave Liam another hug. “I want you to do something for me okay?” Liam nodded so Louis continued. “You need to be patient with him, understand that you’ve both been through hell; quite literally for you I know but Zayn… he’s not untouched by all this, no matter how he wants everyone to think that.” Louis frowned but then quickly turned it into a smile. “You’d be proud, the way he managed us all, kept us in line and looking out for each other… I may not have been as helpful as I could’ve been.”

“Hah!”

“Shut your mouth Horan!” Louis brushed his own hair back and grinned at Liam, rubbing his shoulders. “I want you to go out there and make sure he knows how you feel, no – don’t interrupt me, I know you think he knows but when it comes to these matters you’re both as bad as the other.”

“Can I talk now then?” Liam asked smartly. Louis nodded graciously, proving he could still be an arse even now. “I’ll talk to him, but you have to do the same with Harry.”

Louis huffed and threw up his arms. “I am not in love with Harry-fuckin’-Styles, why will no-one ever listen!”

Liam loomed closer, and though he was really no taller he knew it seemed like he was standing over Louis and he also knew how to look pretty intimidating these days. “He doesn’t need a lover Louis, but he really needs his friend back.”

Louis nodded without speaking which said a lot in some strange way. Walking to the door Liam steeled himself and pulled the hood up.

It should have been easy, it should have just been a case of walking to the footpath, up a couple of cars and bingo – rap on the window, give a grin and all this anxiousness would be gone because no matter what he’d been through Liam knew in his soul that Zayn would always be his center, his calm – even if love couldn’t be there anymore there’d be that.

Louis had parked a dozen cars up, old habits of not making it obvious where one of them lived but his car was the same and Liam spied it in an instant. What he didn’t quite notice until he came around the slight bend in the path was a dozen or so people crowding one very smaller and very familiar person, yelling questions at him and waving cameras about.

It seemed weird since Liam had heard the press had backed off after a few months but his steps didn’t falter, to do anything else would draw attention. Going unnoticed was a practiced habit in a country where gangs of gun-toting madmen would kill anyone out of place – no reason the same tactics shouldn’t still work here.

Adjusting his hood as he walked smoothly past the loud group Liam risked a glance and for just a split second his eyes locked with those golden brown ones he knew better than his own. The slight widening of Zayn’s eyes revealed he knew Liam in an instant, even with his face hidden in the shadows of his hooded jacket and his whole appearance nothing like the Liam Zayn should remember. That almost stopped him but no, must keep going, if the press group spotted him it would be madness especially since they were probably looking for him if the few words he could make out made sense.

His name in questions being shouted at Zayn – “Have you seen Liam!” “Is it true, is Liam alive!” They didn’t even expect answers, they just wanted a reaction. Somehow they’d been tipped off he was back, and the only thing better than a picture of Liam would be a grab of Zayn getting angry, upset of both. Out of the corner of his eye Liam saw Zayn had no escape and was being crowded against the side of a van, in a very short time he would have to force his way out or find himself crushed by the group that was getting rapidly more vocal and physical. Zayn wouldn’t have had security, not while being in London and on private time – for all of yesterday Harry had only had a few fans come up so only the fact of Liam being back could produce this type of scramble.

His choices were limited; keep walking – keep going and trust that Zayn could handle himself. That would be the smartest thing to do.

Liam had never claimed to be the smartest.

1D1D1D1D1D1D

-Zayn-

He’d just wanted a smoke, and then maybe after that the courage to go in and see if Liam was still at Niall’s.

Best laid plans and all that.

It was kind of strange after being left alone for so many months to have the media surrounding him again and for a good minute Zayn was kind of just stunned into being frozen and speechless. After that and once he’d realised what they were asking about he tried hard to put on his ‘don’t care’ face and try and finish his smoke. Luckily they had no idea Niall’s place was nearby and exactly why Zayn was standing around on the footpath – and he wasn’t about to enlighten them.

After the third time he was jostled Zayn started to get concerned and suspected this media pack were about to turn nasty, he took a step back but quickly realised there wasn’t really anywhere to go. Louis had the keys so a getaway via car was not going to happen and being trapped in a car was worse than out here.

They continued to pepper question at him, all about Liam and if he knew anything, had he seen him? Zayn wanted to roll his eyes at that one – had he seen him? If he had would he be out here, and would he be feeling so sick knowing how close Liam was and yet so unsure if Liam even wanted to speak with him. Maybe Liam was pissed at how they’d all fallen apart so easily and blamed Zayn, why not since Zayn did himself.

A reporter ‘accidently’ elbowed Zayn and that was it, sucking in a breath to tell the fucker exactly where to put his camera Zayn froze as he sensed more than saw someone coming along the path… no, not someone – Zayn would know him anywhere and no matter how much he was hidden by a hood and how his physique was changed.

It was Liam, his Liam and in that moment Zayn was certain he’d be able to find him even if it was pitch black and he had lost his hearing. Liam kept walking, seemingly unconcerned about what was going on and for that reason none of the press took notice, but Zayn did. Every step, every movement and every crease in his jacket and jeans combo. Eyes met his own and for Zayn time slowed down to just that exact moment. It was like some kind of out-of-body experience, seeing the very thing he’d craved for so long and yet not being able to say anything, to yell or even to indicate he saw him – not that he had to since Liam would know.

Then he was gone.

He just kept going and though Zayn didn’t want to blame him it felt like a punch to the gut. Breathing became difficult and suddenly the people around him went from being an annoyance to a threat, he couldn’t move, couldn’t escape and that fear of being trapped, something that hadn’t happened for years, returned in a flood of ice-cold painful jabs along his spine. He wanted to scream, to vomit and to just curl up and hope it could all go away.

It was too much and he’d been controlled for too long; Zayn knew he was about to break and in the worst and most public way possible but there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“Zayn! Zayn!” A new voice broke through all the others, so familiar and yet roughened by time and whatever he’d been through. Somehow Liam had made his way to the front so they were almost face-to-face, his hood still up but in those depths Zayn saw those wonderful eyes, glinting in the morning sun. “If you could be anywhere in the world, right now… where would you be?” Liam said softly, smiling as he held out his hand, because of course he already knew Zayn’s answer.

For Zayn it only took a second, and also a lifetime to reach out and clasp their hands together, to feel it was real and know that this was not a phantom. It was his Liam and he was holding him, hugging him, whispering in his ear that he was so sorry, so very sorry. Which was just wrong, what did Liam have to be sorry about and shouldn’t it be Zayn holding him after everything? 

The people around them faded into the background as Zayn studied Liam, now so close he could touch every hardened muscle, see his face, the one he knew so well no matter how many scars and best of all he could place his hand over Liam’s heart and feel it pumping away, the heat and the sense of him all bound in that one little beat.

How had he ever survived without this man in his life?

Liam covered his hand, the one over his heart, with his own and looked down, his face confused for a moment as if he was not sure what he was doing before he looked up and at Zayn, properly staring into his eyes for the first time in what felt like forever. 

If you had asked Zayn what someone meant by feeling the full weight of someone’s gaze before this moment he would not have been able to explain it – now he could probably write a novel on it. Everything was in that expression, Liam’s pain, his sorrow, his confusion and then his understanding and that hope and wonder and just plain brightness returning the longer he looked at Zayn. It was a burning intensity, a private and enduring moment that part of Zayn knew was being captured by the cameras but he didn’t care… they could not take this from him as they had so much else.

“Right next to you Liam,” he finally answered and gently lowered Liam’s hood, exposing him properly to Zayn and to all the people around them. He gazed at the most obvious scar but in reality barely noticed it, it was just another thing to make him love this man, proof that he was a survivor. “Always with you,” he whispered, and maybe that’s all Liam needed, or maybe he needed nothing more than Zayn’s smile because suddenly Zayn’s back was crushed against the van and Liam’s lips were upon his own. It was primal and ferocious and possibly the most erotic thing Zayn had ever experienced with his clothes on – probably a good thing since every moment would have been captured by the press.

He kissed back in what he hoped was just as desperate and needy and wonderful as Liam and wished this moment could last forever. Then again reality hits, even when your best dream is becoming reality and they couldn’t just stay out on the street surrounded by a media scrum… who were strangely silent.

Zayn pulled back from Liam, eliciting an adorable little whine from him, and looked over Liam’s shoulder – and was a little shocked. In some combined moment of understanding the group had moved away and stood chatting among themselves and pointedly not looking at the two guys making out against a van. Miracles could happen Zayn guessed and he grinned, for that he might just provide an on-the-spot interview, and also ask for copies of the kiss they no doubt caught on camera – he wanted to be able to re-watch that every day for the rest of his life.

Hopefully he would also get the real thing for every day for the rest of his life. He clasped Liam’s hand and turned them both to the media group, coughing for attention and smiling to indicate they were ready.

He wondered which would now be the biggest story, Liam being alive or being all over Zayn like a couple in a cheap romance novel?

For Zayn it didn’t matter, Liam was standing next to him and for the very first time there was nothing between them, nothing to stop this from happening. His smile widened as the questions started, hopefully this wouldn’t take long because he had plans for the afternoon and they involved a bed, privacy and a complete and utter lack of clothing.

He had no doubt Liam felt the same.

The End


End file.
